12 Reasons It Wasn't Heaven For Me

Heaven 'n Eggs Eastwood City, Libis • Tel. 912-1172

My first time was the last time I'll ever go to this place...

12. Just about everything in the menu was not available

11. I asked for the Brazilian Breakfast Platter. Not available 'cause the empanada was frozen daw

10. Angela asked for Canadian Bacon. And, you guessed it, not available daw

9. Paolo asked for Twinings tea with Apple essence (which was bannered in the drinks menu as a specialty not to be missed)... and, of course, not available daw. Missing in action, I guess

8. We asked for calamares as appetizers. And yet again, not available daw

7. While waiting for several orders of fruit shakes, my tablemates and I were stunned by a noise as loud as the methane bombing of Glorietta. Turns out the man in charge of the shakes needed to sneeze. Twice.
(No hanky. No hands and fingers to cover his mouth.)

6. My nice sis from London was on my mind so I settled for Fish 'N Chips which the menu boasted came with three dips - tartar, cocktail and lemon sauces. Bad decision again

5. After a long wait, my Fish 'N Chips came. With one sauce: mayonnaise that the waitress insisted was Tartar sauce. Sure there was one piece of pickle as puny as a snot... but Tartar sauce, this wasn't. I demanded that I be given the sauces that were promised in the menu. She came back with the cocktail dip but announced that they were out of lemon sauce

4. I asked to talk to the manager... and, while waiting, heard the kitchen staff frantically looking for "dayap".
The "lemon" sauce miraculously materialized ahead of the manager

3. The manager was apologizing profusely. Nice chap. But when I asked for the name of the owner, he insisted on giving me the restaurant's website and email address. Bad decision. His.

2. My blood pressure rose from a near perfect 120/70 to an emergency room reading of 180/110

1. A menu that doesn't deliver drives customers away -- for good... forever.
(Even if you have a heavenly name!)

my fearless rating:

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